The chocolates were poisoned.

The chocolates were poisoned.

Even as a kid I remember the chocolates being there.
They looked so good, some had shiny wrappers.
We all knew they were poisoned though.
I remember being in the Baptist church youth group, I was around 10 years old. Even then I remember some of the older kids, some of my friends, discussing the chocolates.
One day, my friend Phillip said he'd had eaten one.
We were all a bit stunned, after all, he was still alive?
He told us he knew he shouldn't have eaten it, but it hadn't been that bad.
A couple of weeks later he wasn't there.
I've not seen him since.

Then I joined another church when I was around 13.
There was a girl there called Dawn. She took one of the chocolates too.
It was very quick working on here, I never saw her again.
Then a friend of mine, also called Chris. He took one.
He was around just long enough to tell us he'd done it.

We all knew they were poisoned. It was tough though. You see them there day after day. As soon as one is taken, it's replaced by another. Day after day after day they are there.

A couple of times I was tempted to take one.
I even had one in my hand one time until I dropped it.
I'm still alive. Not down to me though, as I had it in my hand one of the leaders of the church warned me to drop it, and I did.

I'm not in a youth group any more - too old now.
Thing is, I was speaking at one the other day and the next week I dreamed about the chocolates.
I could see that this young group knew about them.
They knew they were poisoned.
I knew as well that each of the girls were going to try one, maybe some of the boys.

It's strange, but everyone thinks the same thing just before they pick one up.
They always think they will be strong enough to withstand the poison.
They know others can't take it, but they think maybe they can.
Then, when they do, they tell there friends about it, warning them; "I know I shouldn't have eaten it, and I'm telling you it was wrong and you shouldn't do it, I'll be all right though".
And then they're gone.





Do you know what the chocolates are?

The 60 Minute Father

I've just finished reading this. It is true, you could read this in 60 minutes, but it took me twice as long. Mainly because I kept stopping to cry.
Never has a book just taken me apart piece by piece. This book is devestating. In it's little stories, funny anecdotes and life lessons you see where your going wrong, and more importantly, where to go right.

Every father should read this and be turned into something that is worth his calling.

Hitting you in the wallet.

A few years ago now I was looking through my bank account, trying to figure out just how much was in there. At the end of the exercise I reckoned there was about £600 I couldn't account for? I said, Praise God and promptly spent it. I took it as a blessing from God. Who wouldn't?

OK, flash forward from there about 1 month.
I'm in church and the speaker is talking about paying our debts to God, which I fully agree with. Thing is I start to get an uncomfortable feeling. A long, long time ago I had signed up to a church charity to help the poor. It consisted of a standing order for X amount of pounds a month. When I checked over this I realized the standing order hadn't been set up. That was the £600 I'd spent!
I just didn't have that kind of money to pay it back either, but knew it was a debt I had to pay.
What I did, was set the standing order up again but for double the amount.
I've been paying it now for a few years and have cleared the debt and some. But this isn't really the point of this story.

I recently read something about how people who give to the poor can expect God to do some amazing things in their lives. I can't remember exactly what it said, but the gist of it was that. I felt a rise of faith in me as I read it as you do when you read something true. I thought, Aha!, I give to the poor, I'll increase the payment again. Which I did, now to treble the original payment.

Thing is, I'm in the car telling Nicky what I've done (we are in this together), and as soon as I said the words the Holy Spirit said, up it again.

It's funny, when you hear these stories about people trying to make deals with God: If you do this for me Lord, I'll go to church on Sunday! I'll go every week. I'll give to the poor. I'll do this, and I'll do that etc.
Like God's interested in that!
He want's you. All of you.
When He's got that He can tell you to do what He likes without the bargaining.
He knows what he's doing there!

So, I did it. How am I going to argue or say no?
I now pay quadruple the original amount. I figure I can afford it, just as God figures the same.
I also figure God is able to supply anything to me that I need.

One of the biggest 'rubber hits the road' moments for us as Christians is when God asks us to open our wallet. That's when we really get a look at how much God has our lives.

Top Trumps

Top Trumps is a card game, based on facts. I used to have a set of tank cards when I was a kid. If I had a tank that could go 30MPH and someone else had a tank that could go 50MPH, I'd lose.

Their are facts in our lives. We don't imagine them. Facts like sickness, depression, needs in our lives. These are facts.
However, the word of God is a Top Trump. It too is filled with facts. And these facts beat any other facts you can throw at them.
But! If you are going to play a Word of God Top Trump, you really need to know what it says in black and white. Guessing won't accomplish much.
If you are sick, a Top Trump card to play is James 5:14

14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

Follow through on the verse: Call for the Elders, don't wait around for an appeal. They will annoint you with oil, a symbol of the Holy Spirit (if they don't, ask them to get some), and they will pray for you a prayer of faith. Don't be embarasses to ask if it was a prayer of faith. You need to know for your faith in the Word.

There is then no other outcome except being raised up-made well. And amazingly, if youv'e got in that state through sin, it will also be forgiven you.

Play Word of God Top Trumps. And be a winner every time. Don't let the Word stay between those dusty covers. it wants OUT! it wants to be released to change everything in your environment. Starting with you.

Martyrs for the Lord

I've seen this song written down in both Brother Yun's books now and it's a chilling, sobering reminder of what happened to those first disciples, and what could be our calling if we accept Christ.

Martyrs for the Lord

Chorus:

To be a martyr for the Lord, to be a martyr for the Lord.

I am willing to die gloriously for the Lord.

Those apostles who loved the Lord to the end

Willingly followed the Lord down the path of suffering.

John was exiled to the lonely isle of Patmos.

Stephen was stoned to death by an angry crowd.

Matthew was stabbed to death in Persia by a mob.

Mark died as horses pulled his two legs apart.

Doctor Luke was cruelly hanged.

Peter, Philip and Simon were crucified on a cross.

Bartholomew was skinned alive by the heathen.

Thomas died in India as five horses pulled his body apart.

The apostle James was beheaded by King Herod.

Little James was cut in half by a sharp saw.

James the brother of the Lord was stoned to death.

Judas was tied to a pillar and shot by arrows.

Matthias had his head cut off in Jerusalem.

Paul was a martyr under Emperor Nero.

I am willing to take up the cross and go forward

To follow the apostles down the road to sacrifice

That tens of thousands of precious souls can be saved

I am willing to leave all and be a martyr for the Lord.

I do as I'm told.

I've been thinking a lot about the Holy Spirit recently.
We have ideas that we think would be good and please God, but in actual fact, if they are our ideas, God will be appalled at them.
Why?
Surely God would want me to put the chairs out every Sunday morning? I'm doing a good work for Him?
I think it's difficult to hear, but also I believe it's the truth, any, and I mean ANY, work that is not of the Spirit is of the Flesh, and as such God cannot tolerate it. It must die.

So, I want to give a little example of one of the events I've had happen to me recently. This isn't to blow my own trumpet, but more as an example of how the Spirit is working in my life and to encourage you in this life. Just as I need to encourage myself.

I was walking to town recently on the weekend to do a bit of Xmas shopping. I was just talking to the Spirit, telling Him how much I need Him and how much I need to keep up with his stride.
I was in town about an hour and ended up in a charity shop buying some books for myself. There was a small old lady in front of me at the till, I reckon at least 65 years old. She was buying some crockery and put her money on the counter. I looked at her and thought that the 4-5 pounds she was spending was probably a very large amount of money to her. The Spirit said to me 'You pay for her things'.
I stood there watching the cups and saucers being wrapped and thinking 'What!'
I was very self conscious, there were others in the shop behind me in the queue, there was another lady who had just knocked something off a shelf and smashed it, the lady behind the till thought I was bringing the books in as a donation and not buying it, but my heart was burning. I get a burning in my heart every time God tells me to prophecy. I know it's Him, it's pretty easy to tell as prophecies have a tendency to come true if they are from God. Anyway, I had this burning and knew I would just have to get on with it.
So I said to the cashier, 'I would like to pay for this ladies items', which I did, bought my books and left the shop. I didn't speak to the lady, I had no 'witness' inside me that was what I should do, so I didn't.
When I got home and told Nicky about it, I was pretty confused as to why the Spirit wanted me to do that, but as Nicky pointed out:
1: I don't need to know that, just be obedient, and
2: God knows that lady, knows what she needed, knows her intimately, and knows that that was a miracle for her.

I want more and more of these 'Spirit Adventures', in fact. I'd like a lifetime of them. In fact again, I need to have a lifetime of them or I'm missing the point.

Chipping away the rubbish.

I think I've mentioned it before, but I was at one time on a Gospel Outreach Team (GO Team) back in 1989-90. When the team finished and normal life returned I thought I would walk into a job and life would be pretty much a walk in the park with things falling into place one after another as I needed them. After all, I had just given up a year of my life to serve God, I was due some blessing.
It's not what happened at all though. I spent the first 6 months unemployed, living in a room of a house where I was hated by one of the owners. I eventually gave up my room when I was offered a sofa to sleep on at another house. For weeks I lived there eating potatoes and sleeping on that sofa. My life, instead of getting bigger and better was pruned back again and again. I eventually got a job working in a hotel but soon after had appendicitis and after an operation and recovery period I had to give up work.
All this went on whilst I had no family or friends around me. My days were spent on my own, no one to talk to,traveling to the Jobcenter , usually twice a day to look at the same jobs that I had no qualifications for. I was 22 and life was closing in on me on a daily basis. I'd get back to the sofa, sit down, wonder what on earth I was doing and slowly start to die inside.
I just couldn't understand what God was doing with me. Why was this happening to me. Rather than having life more abundantly I was having life more despairingly. If you've ever experienced the same as me you will also know how soul destroying it is to see those around you achieving everything you want to and at the same time try and encourage you with platitudes like 'everything will be OK', 'God bless you'.

After a while I did manage to finally get a part time Christmas job as a security guard in Toys R Us. Even this was touch and go, as just before I was due to start I had chicken pox and was laid up in bed. I did start on time though 11 days later. I knew that the job would only last for a short while and so was under a huge amount of pressure to get a full time job. My boss there kept promising me if I did well he would see what I could do, but after a while I realised this guy had no real authority in the company and to hope on him would be a big mistake. I was also now married, in the October just gone, and although this was one of the happiest days of my life it's difficult to explain, but being in the position I was there was a deep sadness in me that only God could fix.

A month or so into my security job I got a break with a full time job, again as security, for a clothing store. You might think I start to sound like a spoiled brat now, but 2 days into this job I realised I hated it. It seemed God was just destroying me a bit at a time. I'd gone from desperate, lonely unemployment to desperate married employment. The job was 6 days a week with Sunday off. My boss didn't like me taking Saturdays off as holiday so I couldn't really have any holiday. This meant I went for 14 months working 6 days a week with no break. The wages were poor, so poor that after payday and our bills there were pennies left. I lived on potatoes still, eating a jacket potato with butter every day I worked there. The job itself entailed me walking round the small store for hour after hour after hour. My mind was near snapping with boredom. Conversation was frowned upon, the job was to basically be a menacing threat to shoplifters. I found the only way I could survive mentally was to split the day into blocks of 15mins at a time. Any more than that and I just couldn't cope.

Where is all this leading?
Remember the title, chipping away the rubbish? That's what was happening to me. Everything was being chipped of me. My character, personality, ideas, hopes, dreams, all ere being ruthlessly put through the oven of affliction. I really had no idea if I would survive.
During those 14 months I applied for so many other jobs, sending letters to firms and stores etc. You name it I applied for it. What could be worse that having no replies to these letters? Having your hope destroyed.
Proverbs 13:12 says Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. And that was me. My heart was sick.
I had 2 interviews in those months, one at a jewelers that went very well. I was told I would hear soon favorably, but the next time I walked past the shop it had closed! I put a lot of hope in getting that job. You start to dream that a door is finally opening for your escape, you think what direction your career might take, only to see it shot down at the first move.
The second interview, months later, was with the Co-Op store. That also went well. The manager said to me he would do what he could to get me a position in the company. I waited with hope for my letter, but it never came. I eventually went back to the store to speak to the manager and was told he had left and no one knew anything about my interview. It was another crushing blow. I don't know how I kept going. To have failed yet again, having to go back to work with still no light at the end of the tunnel.
And then came Gethsemane where I died.

It happened after seeing a job advertised in the paper for a trainee in a printers. They wanted a school leaver. I knew I was to old, but I had stopped caring about that, sending applications off for any job that might give me hope, even when I knew I wouldn't get it. This was the same. I applied for the trainee job and actually got a phone call asking me to come in for an interview. Not for the trainee job but for another position, a much better one, that was going to become available. The Printers apparently had my CV already. It was one of the companies I'd blitzed.
I went for the interview and was very pleased. It went very well, seemed a great place to work with a workforce in similar age to me that actually looked pretty happy with their work life. Something which was very foreign to me. The interview ended with the HR Manager promising to ring me later with a result.
That day I let my hopes rise again. I couldn't stop them. I dared to hope what might happen. When I got home I waited for the phone call. And waited. And waited. I was looking at the clock thinking perhaps they work to 5.30, then perhaps he's staying to 7. Then it was a case of wondering if he'd forgotten my number etc at around 7.30.
I couldn't leave it and rang the printers. I was told the HR manager had gone home for the evening.
It's very difficult to describe how I felt. It was the culmination of years of being pressured and disappointed. My wife came and took my hand, and I knelt to the floor crying. The prayer I prayed was one of my heart breaking, knowing yet again I had to go back to that job failed again. I prayed 'Jesus, today I loved you, and tomorrow I will love you'. It was all I had.
It was all that mattered. Everything else in me had gone. The very core of me was all that was left and all I could say was no matter what happened I would love Jesus.
Whilst still on my knees the phone rang. I picked it up. It was the HR Manager, from his car, offering me the job. I said 'Yes please' still with tears in my eyes.
The letter of confirmation came a couple of days later, and I immediately handed in my notice.
When I left I was very surprised to find a huge pay packet containing weeks of extra holiday pay that they'd never let me take.

It's a beautiful story from my life, but a story I almost didn't make it through. It took years to see that happy ending, which was really only another stepping stone in my life to become more like Jesus.